And Soon He'll Be Gone
by PeaceLovePasta
Summary: Lukas is in a mental hospital, and deteriorating quickly. His friends recall how he's been. This is in memoir format...sort of. Hard to explain. One-sided DenNor. T for Lukas's mental state. :I don't know some people may find it scary!:
1. Matthias

**My first story on this account. Hetalia does not belong to me, though I am married to some of the characters. Enjoy!**

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Lukas is my best friend. I don't care what he says.

I visit him in the hospital more than anyone else, and I always bring him good food to eat. He acts like he doesn't me there, but I know him the best; we grew up together. Sometimes he won't talk to me when I come, but that's okay. I know he's just embarrassed that he's there. Neither of us talk about his condition when I'm there, because there's not much to say. It's killing him, slowly.

It's hard to see the difference from day to day, but when I look back to how he once was, I see clearly the problem. He looks off into the corners of the room sometimes, focusing on something I can't see. Sometimes he stalks talking mid-sentence and just listens. I don't know what he hears or sees, but it frightens me. He thinks that it's real now- the hallucinations. On several occasions, he's insisted that someone was saying his name and that I should be quiet and then I'd be able to hear it too. I listened as hard as I could, hoping that I'd hear something to indicate he wasn't losing touch with our world yet, but there was nothing. There's never anything, but he thinks there is. What else is he supposed to think?

Another time, we were talking, and he stopped, looking beyond me to the door. "Hello, Tino." He said. I turned around. Tino wasn't there. The door hadn't been touched since I'd come in. I tried to tell him this, but he shook his head, saying that I was being rude. He motioned for Tino to come sit with us, talking to him. I sat there, watching all of this, needing Tino to be there so I would know Lukas wasn't just making this up. I left early that day, but he was still talking with Tino as I left.

The last time I saw him, it almost scared me into never coming back. When I walked in, he had a blanket wrapped around him. I asked if he was cold, and he said he wasn't. I then asked about the blanket, and he tilted his head, telling me that I should stop joking, and that it was his cloak. I didn't ask him anything else, but he kept talking anyways. He told me I should be wearing more clothes because it was snowing and I'd catch a cold. It was July. He asked if I knew where he was, because he was lost. I told him he was in the hospital, and he shook his head. "Why am I in the hospital, Matthias?" He asked. I'd never had to explain that to him before, and I wasn't sure if I could. I told him he was sick, but he shook his head again, insisting that he was not. He told me he was fine, and needed to go home to care for his brother, Emil. I told him Emil could take care of himself, but he stubbornly disagreed, insisting that he could not. "Emil is only five!" He yelled at me for several minutes, calling me irresponsible and stupid. I was used to that, but it still hurt. I told him Emil was all grown up, but he didn't believe me. I left after that, because I was afraid that he was all gone and soon I wouldn't be able to talk with him at all.

I'm still not sure how he is, and after a month, my curiosity has gotten the best of me and I have to see how he is. Surely he's worse, but I can't just live knowing he's locked up all alone. Today I woke up, determined to see him. I almost felt as if something was wrong, and that's why I think he's all gone now. I don't even know if he'll know who I am anymore, but I have to try. The traffic isn't moving fast enough, and the suspense is killing me. It'll all be worth is though, because to me, Lukas is more than my best friend. I think I love him.


	2. Berwald

**Sorry this took so long, but here it is: Sweden's POV! Nothing against him of course, but I don't have much in common with him, so I found this chapter especially difficult to write. I see him sort of as the kind-hearted-strong-guy type, but that's just me. Please don't be harsh~**

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I'm worried about Lukas. I really am. We grew up together as friends, and we were very close. Even before he went to the hospital, I started to notice a difference in his behavior. He'd completely lose his train of thought every once in a while, which never used to happen. That was the first thing. Then he started staying home from work more, always saying he had a headache or something of the like. That's what worried me, really, because Lukas was one of those people that never got sick.

I tried to shrug it off, saying the sudden changes were nothing. I hated the fact that I acted like I didn't care, but I didn't know what else to do. Knowing him so well, I could tell he didn't want anyone to worry.

I think the act was mostly put on for his younger brother, Emil. Emil was the one who seemed the most stressed about the situation, especially after Lukas was admitted to the hospital. He's never been a pleasant person, but his brother's condition seemed to just magnify this. He stopped talking to the rest of us; in fact, I hardly see him nowadays. He went home to his house in Iceland. He does come back once in a while, but he just goes to see Lukas before quickly returning home. I don't know what's up with him.

I've only gone to see him once. I really hate hospitals. Tino tried to get me to go a few times more, and maybe I should've accepted, but now he's so far gone that I can't. The one time I did see him, it was because I was dying of curiosity. I mean, who wouldn't be? I remember being led back to his room and told I only had 'a little bit.' That's all I wanted: just to see him. I wanted to just assure myself he was okay.

That's why I didn't go back: He wasn't. He wasn't okay. I walked in, and he was sitting in a chair, looking out a window that showed a small courtyard. No one was out there, so I wasn't sure what he was looking at. I walked across the room, making a little more noise than necessary, as I wanted him to know I was there so I didn't startle him. He didn't turn. Could he hear me? I finally greeted him, and he turned to look at me. He said nothing, which wasn't abnormal for him, but something was different, and I knew right away. I think it was his eyes. Not his eyes, actually, but the emotion behind them. Something was just slightly off, but I didn't know what exactly. I still don't. Anyways, he put a finger to his lips, telling me to quiet down. I wasn't sure why, so I asked. He told me that if I didn't be quiet, he'd never find Mr. Puffin.

Now, I was starting to feel uneasy. Mr. Puffin wasn't there, of course. You can't bring animals like him into hospitals. I told him that, but he shook his head, telling me that Mr. Puffin was hiding outside somewhere. I looked over his shoulder, thinking that maybe there was a bird that could be mistaken for Emil's. There wasn't anyone or anything moving out there. I backed up a few steps. Then the nurse returned, telling me it was time to go. Selfishly, I was glad to be away from that place. The Lukas that was there was not my childhood friend. That Lukas was gone, I thought.

Or at least, gone for now. I'd like to be optimistic and say that he's just "lost", but that would be a lie. If he's lost, I don't think he'll find his way back.

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**Next, I believe will be Finland. I'll try to get it up faster this time. I just was having a hard time narrarating as Sve. After that, I'll just have Iceland, which I must say I'm looking forward to the most...**

**But only 2 to go...**

**...Unless I do a chapter for Norge himself. Should I? I think it would be fun having him talk while the hallucinations are after him. I, myself, have voices in my head(No haters.) so I kind of get what it's like. Hm, well, PLEASE let me know in the comments, because I won't write it if no one wants it. Also, sad ending or happy ending? Or leave-it-to-your-imagination ending? Please tell me. I'm writing this for you, my readers, after all.**


	3. Tino

**I lied. This wasn't as easy as I though it was going to be. Sorry. But...here you go!**

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They told me he would be okay.

Berwald told me that first. I believed him, of course. Why wouldn't I? We're married. I always trust him. So I went to see him, thinking he'd be the same old Lukas that I've known since I met him. As soon as I walked into his room though, I saw clearly that was not the case. Though I haven't known him as long as Berwald, I've always been very empathetic, and I knew something was very wrong. He seemed distant, more than usual even. He saw me when I came in, and started talking to me. Someone who didn't know him would've seen this as a perfectly normal behavior, but not me.

Because Lukas just doesn't strike up conversation with anyone, even his friends. He usually would wait for me to speak to him, or at least say 'Hello.' I tried to shrug this off, thinking that maybe he had just been really lonely or something and wanted someone to talk to. That made sense, right? I listened to him talk for a bit, still wondering where the uncharacteristic monologue came from. Then I started to notice something. He wasn't looking at me, rather at something beyond me. I glanced behind me, but all that was there was the wall. When he stopped to take a breath, I just said his name, trying to convince myself that he _was_ talking to me, but he didn't respond. I tried again, now having to talk over him. "Lukas?"

"Oh, Tino, when did you get here?"

I didn't answer. I just stood up and left. I didn't think I could go back after that, especially since he was only supposed to get worse. About a week later, I couldn't stand not knowing what was going on with him. I found the courage to go back, lingering in the parking lot. I'd asked Berwald to come with me the day before, but he'd refused, not even giving me a reason. I wasn't mad; I figured it must be really hard for him, since they'd known each other their whole lives. I remember walking into the place, telling myself I wouldn't stay long. I asked to see him, and the nurse shook her head, saying that Lukas already had a visitor and I would have to wait. I assumed it was either Mathias or Emil, and sat down, still keeping the promise to myself that I would see him that day.

It took about a half hour for someone to come down the hallway. I looked up from a book I was reading, expecting to be greeted with a nice "Hello!" from Mathias, who would tell me that Lukas was doing fine. I didn't. I saw Berwald, showing a rare trace of emotion on his face. "Berwald?" I asked, and he looked up at me, quickly hiding the devastation that I'd seen on his face just a moment ago. He walked up to me, practically dragging me from my chair and out the hospital doors. I asked him again and again what was wrong, but he just shook his head, saying we needed to go home. I agreed, not like I had much of a choice. "Is Lukas okay?" I looked into his eyed, willing him to tell the truth, and he shook his head.

He's not okay.

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**Now all I have is Icey and maybe Norge himself~ I still haven't gotten any feedback on whether he should have a chapter.**

**I have a feeling I'll write one anyways, because I do roleplay him a lot, and therefore it won't be very hard. ^^ **

**Yup...that's all. BAI~**


	4. Emil

**Sorry, this took a lot longer than I expected, because my perfectionist tendancies decided me to pester me while I wrote this. Oh, and a little forewarning: My friend had an obsession with NorIce, and I've been RPing with her a lot lately. So...if that leaked into my writing, sorry. Enjoy!**

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I can't believe he didn't tell me. I just cannot believe it.

I knew there was something going on, of course. Lukas is my brother; I've known him all my life. As soon as he started doing things such as zoning out and stumbling over his sentences, I knew there was something, because he didn't used to do that. I assumed it was something minor, like maybe he wasn't sleeping well or something, and his confusing symptoms would just gradually go away. They didn't. I started casually asking him if he was okay, but he would always just shrug off my worries and make me feel stupid for asking in the first place. I wished that I'd pushed harder now, but I didn't. So I had no idea what to think when he didn't come home from work.

At first I hardly noticed he wasn't there; he's not very loud. Then it just occurred to me all of a sudden: He'd never even entered the house. I called him, a bit worried, but got no answer. I told myself he was fine and I shouldn't bother worrying, as he was a grown man and could handle whatever happened. I worried anyway, pacing around the house late into the night. I told myself to sleep, replaying his words from my childhood in my mind and trying to force myself to sleep.

"I'll be here when you wake up." I thought it over and over until I finally started to believe it, and calmed down enough to sleep. I woke the next morning, telling myself that he must've come home while I was sleeping, and didn't want to wake me up. That would make sense, right? I knocked softly on his door. If he were home, he would've hated the fact that I'd woken him so early on a weekend for no reason, but I would've preferred that to the terrifying silence that seemed to magnify as I listened for him. I called his number again, throwing the phone down in frustration when he didn't pick up. I didn't have the slightest clue what was happening, except that something was definitely not right. Just minutes later, the phone rang loudly. I lunged to answer it as fast as I could, knocking a lamp off of a table in the process. I heard Matthias's voice, but it was so panicked and quickly paced that I only caught about every fifth word. Somewhere in the seemingly endless sea of words, I heard my brother's name. After yelling at him to calm down, I finally got the story I'd been wondering about. He didn't know much beyond the fact that Lukas was in a hospital somewhere. I hung up with him, in no mood to just talk.

I stood, frozen for a few minutes in the empty house as my mind struggled to take in the fact that no, my brother was _not_ okay. He was far from that. Instead, he was sick, very sick, and there was nothing I could do. I tried to get comfortable with that thought, but I couldn't, so I pushed it out of my mind, trying to think of anything else. This proved impossible, as I was in _his_ house, surrounded by everything that would remind me of him. I knew I couldn't stop worrying as long as I stayed there, so I grabbed the keys to my car, not knowing where I was going to go. All I knew was that I couldn't stay home. I eventually ended up at the address I'd gotten from Matthias, though I didn't remember the drive there at all. I debated whether I should go in, but I just couldn't. What if there was something really different? I wondered what he thought in there, all his freedom gone. I sat there in the lot for a long while; I didn't even know how I felt anymore. I was angry, but not at anyone in particular. I was worried, and frustrated that I was worrying so much. Eventually, I left that place, upset that I didn't even have the courage to talk to my own brother. I went home, hurrying into my bedroom, as it was the only place in our shared home that didn't provoke more worries. I knew I couldn't just hide there for the rest of my life; that would be pointless and impossible. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I left.

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**So, there was your Icelandness. Again, I'm sorry if he was OOC. I blame my friend/editor of this chapter for that. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed and whatnot. Also, I know that I kind of just stopped this where it could be continued, but it was originally around 2500 words before, and I had to shorten it. **

**Last will be MY personal favorite: Norway~! I plan on taking a while on his chapter(s). Just a warning. **

**Yes, there was a possible "s" on the end of chapter. I kind of want to break his into two parts, because I think his will tell the whole story, instead of just pieces like I'm doing now. I'm not sure. I'll consult my amazing editor tonight! **

**(Yes *name censored*, if you are reading this, I AM giving you a shout-out, even though you didn't want one. You're welcome~ )**


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